My favourite post titles from reddit/firstworldproblems

reddit firstworld problems: http://www.reddit.com/r/firstworldproblems/top/

My children and I are cold and starving. Guess I’ll get up and turn down the ac once the pizza guy gets here.

One click on my mechanical pencil isnt enough, and two clicks is too much.

My girlfriend cheated on me, but I only listen to dubstep, so I don’t have any passive aggressive lyrics to post as my facebook status.

I only got 1 dipping sauce with my 20 nuggets and had to ration it like it was WWII.

My smartphone auto-corrects “shit is legit” to “shit is legitimate”, severely reducing my street credibility.

The music I listen to is too obscure to find a torrent for so I had to buy it

My hand is too fat to shove into the Pringles container so I am forced to tilt it.

Calories are so cheap and plentiful where I live, that I have to waste energy by burning them off in the gym.

Even after 11 years, every time I say, “its hot in here.” someone still suggests I take all my clothes off.

The hot girl I’m trying to stalk on facebook knows how to use her privacy settings.

I printed out a 200 page doc, threw it away and reprinted it on two sides so people wouldn’t think I waste paper.

My health is so impeccable, I have to fake my sick days.

The 3rd world child I am sponsoring is ugly.

My crotch itches but I’m walking by a preschool.

Firemen keep harvesting my cat tree.

I’m reading a philosophy book on my Kindle. No one can see the cover, so they don’t realize how smart I am.

The gay couple who moved in next door are not as comically flamboyant as the gay people on TV. It’s like they’re not even trying.

The hot girl I came to my class to look at is absent.

A turn wasn’t sharp enough to turn off my car blinker.

There was a tiny patch of water on the floor in the kitchen and I stepped in it. I’m wearing socks.

My phone autocorrects “KKK” to “Lol,” so when i’m trying to organize a klan meeting, people think i’m laughing out loud.

I hit ‘dismiss’ instead of ‘snooze’ so now I have to actually wake up

I didn’t have a shitty childhood, so I can’t turn my pain into art.

The person in front of me is walking to slow for me to stay behind but too fast for me to pass without walking next to them for an awkward amount of time